Bournemouth 2001
Easter Festival Tour
Report & Photo Gallery

12th - 16th April

Bournemouth Sports Club
Chapel Gate, East Parley,
Christchurch, Dorset BH23 6BD
Tel: 01202 581933 Fax: 01202 581933

Report / Photos 1 / Photos 2 / Photos 3 / Photos 4

Tour Report

Thursday / Friday / Saturday / Sunday / Monday

Another year and another Bournemouth - but this time one with a bit of a difference. No longer was there a veritable swarm of Hornets descending upon the place. This year's affair was a slightly smaller thing with quite a few new players and just a mixed team to compete against the best the tournament could offer. What's more, it was also a final swansong for the Golden Spice Boys. Another legendary tour, with the Spice Boys ensuring they wont be forgotten even if they weren't there again and the Hornets charting unknown territories by making it into the final stages of the Cup! This year's weather was definitely an improvement on the previous year with a lot more sun.... but of course it rained and games were cancelled and mud was everywhere... but a few beers always warms everything up!

----- Thursday -----

As usual there are no games on the first day. Takes a while to get down there and a bit of time to get settled. As we turned up - after the normal nightmare trip down - quite a few people had beaten us down there. Camping was in the same field as last year but part of it was cordoned off for Foot & Mouth disease... niiiice!!! Still as if that would put us off. Picking a camp site that was basically flat is never the easiest job in the world but we did our best and we also managed to find a place that was quite navigable back from the main marquee but not where all the other drunken idiots would stumble.

A smallish squad for this year and only entered as a mixed team, but certainly the new kit was a step up from normal. No-expense was spared on this years shirts which were bought as kit for the next few years rather than getting a shirt for every Tour. The team was made up both of veterans from many tours and a few new members to swell the ranks.

Veterans: Mark Jones, Dougal Davis, Jon Kirby, Andy Potapa, Ryan Matthews, Joe Panter, Victoria H, Becks Law & Catherine Dwyer.

New Members: Mel Clark, Lee Tearle, Simon Riley, Lee Snowdon and adoptee Kathryn Moore.

So, with no scheduled games it was off to the bar, to sort out tour names for the new members and to launch into the usual drinking games before further drinking in the marquee. Basically we ensured that no one was in a fit state to play well the following morning. <<<

----- Friday -----

The first days play which started off rather worryingly with a cup game. Everyone was feeling a little worse for wear but that still didn't stop the Hornet progressing through the first round of the cup by some inspired playing. Mel Clark proving that she 'can' actually play hockey if you put her on grass, Andy Potapa scoring a ridiculous goal of the cheaper chest. The defence had to take some of the credit for this game though, with Mark Jones showing some ridiculous tackling form at the back with a brilliant swooping slide tackle that was never in any danger of coming in contact with the ball but certainly made contact with the player! And Keeper Lee Tearle hospitalising the opposition striker with a wonderful chip into his eye socket, don't mess with the defence they are old skool!!!. Cup 1st round: Hornets v Zak Hood W1-0 (Potapa). Into the Cup Quarter-Finals on Saturday.

The next match was a friendly... in more senses than one. Firm friends and rivals, Loughborough Uni, were drawn against us in the first of what was to be two matches as they were also our opponents in the Quarter-Finals (albeit under another name!). Hornets v Drunken Idiots D1-1 (Kirby). What is mainly memorable about this game is the amount of shots Jon Kirby must have missed in fact, the goal he finally scored was more of a sympathy let-off from the other side who found watching him miss constantly so painful! Sterling defending from Hornet virgin, Simon Riley, who fancies himself a bit of a striker... luckily he played as a sweeper. He couldn't hit a barn door up front - but then that means he is still challenging for Jon Kirby's position!

Final match of the day, and against the team with the rudest names and the least ability. Great guys to play and beat. Plaudits go to both Becks Law for stealing someone else's goal (nasty behaviour that) and Lee Snowdon for tring to head a hockey ball... very painful and makes you look bloody stupid. Still such was the quality of shots we lost two balls during the course of the match - and maybe damaged the a few of their players in the process still that's why Dougal Davis is on the team - takes his hockey very seriously... sometimes! Hornets v Nato W3-0 (Kirby x2, Law).

Top night in the marquee but Victoria H unfortunately managed to get a bit of shower while the festivities were going on. The rest of the marquee were happy to get covered in the odd pint of beer but nope... she had to take it one stage further. Simon Riley earnt his tourname this night as well - the man has an 'auto-pilot' facility once he has absorbed enough alcohol his body removes itself and puts him to bed... only worry about that is that it was happening before 11pm some nights! <<<

----- Saturday -----

An early morning fixture of sorts (before noon!) and the Hornets were up battling for a place in the Semi-Final or would be if everyone got back from the Cafe in time. All the lucky rituals were performed (beers were drunk) and it was up against Loughborough again after yesterday's draw. In an inspired game the Hornets dominated and actually could have been a lot further ahead if not for the impotency of our strike force. Still there was a late consolation goal for the opposition on the final whistle and after our defence had promised no tto get in the way. Cup Quarter-Final: Hornets v Gagging4it W2-1 (Kirby x2)

Unbelievably up until this point the Hornets were undefeated... something was very strange. In fact the mere mention of this fact saw us lose the next match to a bunch of farmers and general odd-bods. Hornets v Chudleigh L0-1 A game that the Hornets didn't really play in. Obviously saving themselves for the big Semi-Final later in the day. This was just a run-out, but the opposition took it way too seriously which spoiled the match a bit. Still, was worth playing if not only to wind up the country folk!

So, the biggest match ever in the history of the Hornets, well sort of! The team prepared by getting drunk and half of them not turning up until 10mins after we should have started. The opposition were taking it exceptionally seriously - far too seriously for a festival match. Still the hornets were defending well throughout the first few minutes until Kathryn 'Rampant' Moore (Hornet adoptee from Manchester Uni) had to rush of to the toilet. Unfortunately on the way back she tripped over some goalkeepers kit and was rushed off injured to the nearby St John Ambulance. However, by this time the rather sad and stroppy Streakers were two-goals up and the Hornets had pretty much decided to just play pure festival hockey and wind-up the opposition instead. Cup Semi-Final: Hornets v Streakers L0-2 The Streakers went on to win the competition and collected their very impressive trophy - some fantasy figures hastily purchased at Forbidden Planet... well done!

Following the Hornets swift-ish exit from the Cup came the game we were all waiting for - The Slobs. Run and captained by the infamous Clive (Ken Livingstone look-a-like and all round nice guy). This game was pure festival hockey. The hornets putting out everyone they could find, people playing with few clothes on... the goalie holding a stick in one hand and a crusaders shield in the other... the girls chatting to each other while the ball rushed by and of course Clive running around red-faced trying not to have a heart attack! Not to mention the obligatory beer in everyone's hand! Hornets v Slobs L2-3 (Kirby x2). The Hornets lost but then very few people playing could have told you who won, or even what the score was - Festival hockey at it's finest.

Of course Ryan 'Princess' Matthews being the stalwart of the team socially managed to stay up until the end of the disco at least once this year, showing how he has matured as a Hornet. It was however, unfortunate not to see him out and about in his 'specialist' Princess Hornet kit this year... it was there but not worn - I think it was being saved for the final which, alas, we never quite made it to.

Meanwhile, Andy Potapa cemented relations with Loughborough by spilling some liquid on Vix, the Loughborough Goalie while the rest of the two teams shared much drink and dancing in the marquee. Even the crippled and sidelined Joe Panter arrived for a whistle-stop one day/night only! He managed to play a match - despite doctors orders - and introduce himself to some of the new members of the team. Oh, and of course, he managed to take the whole evening to a new beer-throwing/drinking/wearing low! <<<

----- Sunday -----

After the dizzy heights of the Cup - and the rain washing out a lot of Sunday's games - most of the team decided that it would be better to drink all day than to play any matches. It was this kind of inspired wisdom that kept our results record in such a good state. Later on in the day there was a match of sorts. About 30-a-side on the astro-turf pitches which comprised of most of Loughborough, most of the Hornets and anyone from the bar that could still stand. Not too many goals were scored in this match as not only would running have split the beers but also someone chipped off with the nets!

Another legendary night in the Marquee with the old favourites blasting out... Spandau Ballet's "Gold" being particularly special as it was the last time the Spice Boys would be here to sing it! If you looked closely enough you could actually see a tear in Catherine Dwyer's eye, maybe there was some glitter in it! All the big tunes were coming out including Hornet anthems such as: The New Radicals - You Get What You Give, Phats & Small - Turn Around and worryingly Steps - Tragedy! <<<

----- Monday -----

As usual, no one can be arsed with playing on the final day and to be honest it looked like it was going to rain. Tents packed away in earnest and everyone rushing off to beat the traffic - of course that was the plan... in actual fact it was another trip to McDonalds for a grotty breakfast, loads of tea and coffee and to check out the weekend's football results in the Premiership.

It was officially the most successful tour the Hornets have ever had in terms of fixtures & results but a shame that more of the squad couldn't make it down this year. Still a good foundation to build on for the following year at least! A guess player of the tournament should go to Jon Kirby for all the goals he scored but the amount of chances he fluffed was just unreal, and as Andy Potapa - the team's most gifted player - was wandering around all weekend drunk out of his mind playing in a pair of jeans, a denim jacket and holding a beer there wasn't really the competition! I think it best to forgo the award altogether.

Played: 7 Won: 3 Drawn: 1 Lost: 3 Goals Diff: +1

Goals: Jon Kirby (7), Andy Potapa (1), Becks Law (1).

And for the first time ever there was no massive end of tour piss up. With the team being spread out across the country (and in some cases across the world) it is just no possible! A few made it out to a quiet pub meal on the way home and raised the glasses (albeit, most of them were cokes!) to absent Hornets!!

Still the plan is to try and tour 3 times a year at least, which will give everyone the chance to get to some games if they want - and from this year's Bournemouth Programme we got our new slogan... We're Number One - Alphabetically! Strangely appropriate for the Hornets! <<<

The Tour Correspondent - Report 25-May-01
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